Harry Potter and Gollums Chamber of Secretses
by Kusco
Summary: What if Gollum was in the secondHP movie and not Dobby?What would he do when he meet Ron, Hermione, or the rest of the HP gang? Read and find out! RR Oh yeah plus I don't own any of this
1. Default Chapter

A/U: This story is totally different from anything else I've ever written its just pure fluff. Any true serious tone in the story is purely accidental.

Sometimes you write a story to be a bit dramatic and to make a point or have some good action and other times you write a story to be just plain crazy this is an example of the latter. It's a really weird story that I cooked up after many late night discussions with my friends. So if you think it's stupid sorry, its half meant to be like that

I thought of this story after seeing the Mtv movie awards when Gollum won the award for best virtual character the fact that Smeagol mentions that Dobey was his friend is pretty much it; but anyways I hope that you like it. 

The story is set in the first part of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Dobey asked his new found friend Smeagol to go warn Harry Potter not to go back to Hogwarts unfortunately by the time Smeagol e he gets to Harry's house Gollum is trying to take over and he hates Dobey and everything that involves him. Like Harry for instance. With that I give you

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Harry Potter and Gollum's Chamber of Secretses'

Harry was lying on his bed pretending that he didn't exist. His Uncle Vernon was having a very important dinner with his clients. Harry longed to be at Hogwarts although he had kept Dudley scared stiff with the thought of Harry giving him another pig tail, the summer had still proven to be just as bad as others that Harry could remember. He could hear laughter coming from down the stairs, apparently Uncle Vernon had cracked one of his over used, practiced jokes. Harry stared at the door wishing for freedom when suddenly he heard a loud thump coming from the floor by his window. Harry turned startled to see a pale ghastly thin creature huddled on the floor its face was cupped in its hands it was no larger than a small child 

"Who are you? What do you want?" Harry demanded worried that his relatives might had heard the creatures entrance. It didn't respond it just remained huddled suddenly it spoke

"Smeagol," It said sinisterly 

"Go away!" It said again yet its voice was softer and more innocent

"The nasty boy asked us a question. What do we wants Smeagol?"

"Smeagol?" Harry asked his alarm quickly turning into curiosity "Is that your name?"

"Yes!" It said looking up at Harry relieved to hear someone else say that name "My name is Smeagol!" he got up and looked at Harry "You are Harry Potter?"

"Yes" Harry responded suddenly Smeagol cheered and jumped onto Harry's bed and began to bounce 

"We've found you! Yes we did! We told Dobey we would yes, precious!"

"Shhhhhh!" Harry said "You have to be quiet my Uncle will hear you!"

Smeagol stopped jumping and looked around frightened as if Harry's Uncle was to barge in at any moment.

"Big fat man" Smeagol said 

"Yes he is and he has a terrible temper, so keep it down. Now tell me what you want." Harry insisted

"We have come to warn you!" Smeagol said "Our friend Dobey says that terrible things will happen if you goes back to Hogwarts. Dobey says that you will die." Suddenly he turned his head and said in a different darker voice "We hopes so and Dobey too. We don't want to help. You know what we wants Smeagol!"

"No Gollum!" Smeagol said "Dobey's our friend!"

"Gollum?" Harry asked

"We can't let the boy know about the Chamber of...." Suddenly Smeagol stopped "Oh no. Dobey told us that if we says that we have to punish ourselves." Smeagol quickly grabbed a lamp and smashed it over his head knocking himself out cold. Harry ran over trying to help the poor creature, suddenly he heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. 

Oh no! Uncle Vernon!" Harry exclaimed he quickly hid Smeagol in the closet. Just as Uncle Vernon opened the door.

"What happened?" He demanded looking at the mess in Harry's room.

"Ummm. I was feeding Hedwig and I fell of my stool." Harry lied

"I want no funny business" His Uncle growled as he shut the door.

"Yes sir," Harry said quickly he opened the cupboard to see Smeagol hunched over

"Stupid Smeagol" Gollum said "Stupid Dobey!" he suddenly looked up at Harry

"Who's Dobey?" Harry asked

"Dobey is a nasty false elf. We hates him! Makes us walk all this way, get chased by nasty scary dogses, and for what precious! For what?! Talk to stupid boy. So he doesn't die in stupid school."

"I have to go back to Hogwarts" Harry said "It's my home that's where my friends will be."

"You don't have any friends!" Gollum smirked. "No precious they hates you!"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Harry fumed 

"Yes precious it is!" Gollum laughed "No letters for stupid boy!" 

Harry was taken back. He had written his friends the whole summer but hadn't received a single response. 

"Stupid Human boy wants to know a secret?" Gollum asked smiling sneakily 

"Yes," Harry replied

"We will tell you why he gets no letters if he gives us something to eat. We're starving!" Gollum snapped

"But I can't go down stairs if my Uncle sees me I'll be grounded for life if I'm lucky" Harry said

"Then we won't tell you!" Gollum snapped as he folded his arms and turned away then almost as quickly turned around and jumped to Harry's feet "Please We're dying we needs to eat give us something."

"But I..." Harry began then he remembered he had some candy in his pocket. This was his chance to find out the secret "Smeagol,...Gollum or whatever your name is, guess what I have in my pocket!"

Suddenly Gollum looked up with a horrified angry look. "What did you say?" He asked

"Guess what I have in my pocket, tell me the secret and I'll give it to you." Harry replied

"The Precious!" Gollum said beginning to grow angry. "The Baggins stole it! Give it to us!"

"What ?" Harry asked backing up as Gollum got up and began to stare at Harry's pocket.

"You have the Precious in your nasty pocket! IN YOUR NASTY LITTLE POCKETSES!"

"Shhhhhh" Harry said frantically

"GIVE IT TO US!" Gollum lunged at Harry who bolted for the door not knowing what to do. Harry ran down the stairs with Gollum screaming after him.

"PRECIOUS! PRECIOUS!"

"HELP!" Harry screamed running into the parlor. Harry's relatives, and their guests stared in disbelief looking up from the cake that Aunt Petunia had just brought in and was about to slice.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Uncle Vernon erupted 

"He's after me!" Harry ranted then he suddenly realized that Gollum was no longer behind him.

"This is my nephew!" Vernon squirmed trying to cover up "he's deranged! Strangers upset him and..." Before he could finish this lie. There was a loud yell as Gollum jumped out of a nearby corner and flew into his target which was no longer Harry but the large cake that was dessert. Gollum landed in the cake splattering it all over the guests who screamed in terror. Dudley thinking with his stomach rather than his brain lunged at Gollum.

"That's my cake!" He screamed as he tried to grab on to the famished creature. Gollum immediately spun around and jumped onto Dudley and began to pummel and choke him.

"STUPID FAT BOY!" he screeched "TRIES TO TAKE NICE SWEETS FROM US!"

Although Harry found the scene rather amusing and satisfying he knew he had to stop it. Harry ran up stairs to get his wand. He knew that he couldn't practice magic but he hoped that the sight of a wand would scare Gollum into submission. When Harry returned the scene had gone from bad to worse. The guests were fleeing leaving their coats and making a run for it and Gollum was wrestling with Dudley who's face was now turning a bright purple and at the same time Uncle Vernon was grabbing at Gollum trying to remove him Aunt Petunia had fainted and was lying on the floor. Suddenly Gollum caught sight of Uncle Vernon's wedding ring.

"MY PRECIOUS!" He yelled and spun around and attacked Uncle Vernon's hand trying to remove the ring biting and pulling. Uncle Vernon finally threw the creature down and began to chase him down the hall. Straight towards Harry, who upon seeing Gollum and his obese Uncle barreling down on him quickly began to run as well. Gollum pounced on to Harry and wrapped himself around the boy. Harry struggled to his feet and began to try to pry Gollum off.

"HIDE US PRECIOUS AND WE GIVES YOU THE LETTERSES!" he screamed. While Harry struggled Uncle Vernon had grabbed an umbrella and approached Harry.

"Boy!" he said raising the umbrella above his head "Hold very still!" Gollum screamed and jumped off Harry in the nick of time from getting clobbered by the make shift weapon. With pure luck the umbrella missed Harry by just inches. Gollum ran terrified into Harry's room. Just then Uncle Vernon caught sight on of Harry's wand. 

"SO!" he bellowed "You're controlling this monster!"

"no," Harry said alarmed "I was trying to get him to stop!"

"LIAR!" Uncle Vernon yelled grabbing Harry by the back of the shirt and dragged him up the stairs, and threw open Harry's door. Gollum was no where to be seen, but Vernon was already past caring venting his rage on his nephew. 

"If you're so intent on ruining my life," he yelled as he threw Harry into the room "Then I'll ruin yours! You can stay in your room with that 'thing' for the rest of the summer and you'll never go back to that freakish school of yours!"

"NO!" Harry yelled as his uncle slammed the door in his face.

Harry slammed his fist into his closet door in anger. He heard a distinctive yelp. Harry threw the door open to see Gollum cowering in the corner. 

"YOU!" Harry growled

"Nice boy." Gollum swallowed

So what do you think feedback would be great. If I get enough I'll continue the story I won't do the whole movie but parts (it would take way to long otherwise


	2. Fish and Chips

A/N: Okay I always said I wouldn't up date this until I got at least five reviews but I'll settle with four. Thanks to those who have taken the time to read and review. Now there is a small problem I overlooked an important detail in the first chapter that involves Harry getting in trouble with the ministry of magic so we'll have to pretend that he did. Okay? Thanks for your time

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Chapter 2

Fish and Chips

Harry sighed heavily as he stared up at the ceiling. The initial anger of being barred up in his room was now gone as he realized he would now be spending the rest of the summer holed up in his room like a common prisoner. Uncle Vernon had wasted no time after the terrible experience with his clients to bar up Harry's room so he couldn't escape and to his particular delight force him to be around his questionable roommate. Lying on his bed Harry watched as Gollum the creature that had gotten him into this mess tried again to squeeze through the bars, The amusement of seeing him squeeze his whole body out the window except for his head which just wouldn't go through, had worn away after Gollum's fifty-seventh attempt. Harry had hoped that the creature would flee instead it had just cowered and pleaded for forgiveness calling itself Smeagol again. Then Uncle Vernon came and bared up the window and now they were trapped together.

"Stupid boy," Harry heard Gollum mutter as the creature pulled himself back in frustrated after a hundred and seventeen attempts "We hatess this place!" 

"The feelings mutual" Harry muttered.

"Why did we listen to stupid house elf," Gollum muttered; after the first week Harry had almost gotten used to Gollum's strange ramblings and mood swings. But Harry had managed to decipher that Gollum had been sent by a person named Dobey, to stop the young wizard from returning to Hogwarts. Harry imagined that Dobey was merely a nickname or possibly a code for somebody else maybe even Draco Malfoy. Harry could imagine Draco sending Gollum out to stop Harry and the creature groveling before his master saying "Yes Master Dobey we will do whatever you says."

What alarmed Harry about Gollum however was that the creature wasn't eating. The first time the Dursley's had put Harry's food the cat flap in his door, Gollum had pounced on it and began to devour it before Harry could even stand but almost as quickly the creature began to choke on it and spit it out claiming it was disgusting and burnt his mouth. Gollum hadn't touched Harry's food since though the young wizard did notice that anytime he left his food unfinished and cold it disappeared, but this had been very little because Harry himself wasn't given very much. Which worried Harry even more because of the hungry looks Gollum kept giving Hedwig. The owl hooted nervously as Gollum began to sing about "crunchable birdses" 

Harry suddenly heard Uncle Vernon's heavy footsteps approaching Harry's door. Gollum screamed and hid under Harry's bed as the locks on the door began to twist and Uncle Vernon opened the door.

"Bathroom break" Uncle Vernon growled looking around suspiciously for Gollum. Harry got up knowing this was the last time he would get bathroom privileges until the next day. Harry looked worriedly toward his bed as his Uncle shut the door. After Harry had used the bathroom Aunt Petunia approached him and handed him a bag from a restaurant. They had gone out to eat but Dudley didn't like what he ordered so they had bagged that meal and ordered the spoiled boy a new meal. Uncle Vernon muttered something about it being Harry's birthday present which he didn't even deserve. Harry took the bag and was shoved in his room. The wizard instantly dropped the bag as he saw Gollum leap from the top of Harry's closet and land on Hedwig cage, both came crashing down hard and Gollum began to pry the bars open Hedwig hooted frantically.

"Don't fight us precious!" Gollum hissed almost playfully "Nice bird! Scrumptious bird!"

"Get away from her!" Harry yelled knocking Gollum off the cage, the creature began to wail horribly.

"We are famished! Why must ugly boy be so cruel to poor Smeagol!? We are starving! Give it to us! We begs you!" he shrieked. Having reached his limit Harry stormed toward Gollum and latched on to his throat and pushed him against the wall.

"Look!" Harry growled "I've tolerated you being here long enough ! If you ever touch Hedwig again I swear that you'll wish that you had never been born! Do you understand me!?" Gollum squirmed wildly and was practically on the verge of tears with fright.

"No! Please don't hurt us! We will be good! We swears precious!" he pleaded, "We will help you! We only wants something to eat! Please don't hurt us!" Harry sighed disgustedly and let go of the creature he was holding, then picked up Hedwig in her cage examining her to assure that the bird was unharmed. The owl was obviously shaken up but was otherwise fine Harry looked at the cage many of the bars were bent and it had been battered, Harry glanced back at the creature again angry for what had happened.

Gollum cowered but somehow found the courage to try and calm Harry down even more. "We can help you!" 

"How?" Harry snapped sitting down on his bed. 

"We can tell you about Dobey and how the nasty house elf stole your letterses. Sneaky house elf we hates him we does!" Gollum hissed

"Why did he steal my letters?" Harry said urgently wanting to know that his friends had indeed written him.

"We doesn't know" Gollum replied "Wicked house elf he tricksted us into coming here to nasty house with ugly, fat, people!"

Harry sighed picking up the doggie bag that the Dursleys had given him. He could feel his stomach growling loudly as he opened the bag to see still warm fish and chips. The vapors of the delicious food wafted into his head and seemed to warm his entire body making him even more hungry than before. Harry was pulled rudely, out of the warm sensation that the food brought him as Gollum began to poke the bag.

"What is it?" the creature prodded curiously "Is it niccee? Is it sweet?" Harry's initial reaction was to pull the bag away, with as mad as he was at Gollum the last thing he wanted to do was to share his meal with him, but then he realized that Hedwig's life might depend on Gollum eating plus the food might make him more willing to reveal more secrets about the mysterious Dobey, this might be the best chance that he had to learn the truth.

"Look I'll share half of it with you , but you have to promise me that you'll eat it." Harry said.

"Yesss, we promiseses to eat it. We are famished, give it to us." Gollum said desperately too hungry to further question what it was that he was receiving. Harry pulled some napkins out of the bag and put half of the food on one and gave it to the hungry creature, who was rubbing his hands in anticipation. Gollum took one whiff of the food and let out a groan.

"Eat it." Harry said coldly

"What is it Precious? What is it?" Gollum asked having second thoughts

"It's fish and chips," Harry said "Eat."

"Fish?" Gollum gasped taking a step back examining his food "FISH? What happened to the good fish! We can't eat this. Why did you ruin the nice fish?"

"That's how we eat it." Harry growled "Now eat it! You promised that you would eat so eat it!"

"NO!" Gollum hissed pushing the napkin away "We will not eat nasty, hot fish!" 

Furiously, Harry picked the napkin up and placed in front of the creature. "Eat the fish!" he ordered.

"NEVER!" Gollum yelled knocking the food all over the floor. Harry felt himself snap as he lunged at Gollum while yelling several swear words at him. Gollum screamed wildly and began to run.

"HELP US! WE DON'T WANTS TO DIE!" he screeched just as Harry tackled the creature, Harry pulled his hand back to punch him in the face but stopped as Uncle Vernon began to pound on the door.

"WILL YOU TWO FREAKS BE QUIET GO TO SLEEP OR THERE WILL BE NO BATHROOM BREAKS OR FOOD TOMORROW!" he hollered. Harry cursed silently and let go of Gollum's neck and stormed to his bed , Gollum curled up in a ball in the corner too afraid to do anything else. Harry threw himself under his covers to angry to even take off his shoes he fell into a fitful sleep, where he dreamed that he was in a cage at the zoo with Gollum a sign above them that said: Danger do not feed the freaks, (especially not fish and chips). People stared and goggled at them. Dudley came and rattled the bars, Followed by Draco Malfoy who smirked triumphantly wearing a prefect badge that read "Dobey"

Harry opened his eyes to see the moon shining brightly down at him. Suddenly a face appeared in front of the bars the red hair and long nose of Harry's best friend Ron Weasly. Ron's had appeared on the other side in a floating car. Before Harry could react Gollum popped his head up right in front of Ron's face. Ron screamed and jumped back in fright at the same time Gollum also shrieked terrified. But then almost as soon began to plead with Ron.

"Nice boy! You has to help us! They are staving us!" he cried

"Harry! What have they done to you!?" Ron gasped 

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Okay that's chapter 2 next chapter involves Gollum at the burrow and in Diagon alley. What's he gonna do when he meets Draco or Hermione or Lockhart for that matter? The more reviews I get the quicker you'll know. Also any suggestions are welcome. Thanks


	3. Escape from the Dursleyses

A/N: Wow! I never expected to get so many reviews! Now if feel bad for telling everybody to review and I'd get it out faster, it put pressure on me. So here it is. I split it in half and will be giving the rest in a few days, I got finals right now so things are getting a little hectic but I'll try to have it out by Tuesday. So if anybody was really looking forward to Gollum meeting Hermione and Draco sorry but I swear next chapter it will happen. Thanks everyone and Happy Easter!

Qwyjibo: thanks for the review I'm glad you like it HP and LOTR do make an interesting combination.

Legolas: hey thanks for the review.

Harrys4me+notu: yeah Gollum is pretty crazy but he doesn't do well locked up and somehow I don't think that he'd be a big fan of English class either, thanks for reviewing

Nienna of Sorrow: Blackmail! Well of course it sounds bad when you say it like that! Think of it as extra incentive. J/K Okay I get your point and thank you for reviewing despite of me doing that. I'm glad that you like this story.

Hobbitinguard: Thanks for reviewing I hope this next chapter is to your liking

Dobbyfan18: Sorry, I'll be more careful but thanks for taking the time to review/correct me I hope you enjoy the story.

Lisa: Thanks for the review I hope you like this chapter.

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Chapter 3

Escape from the Dursleyses

"Harry," Ron squeaked as he stared at Gollum from inside his car, "What's happened to you?" 

"What's going on?" Fred asked from the drivers seat, before the young wizard could answer Harry pushed Gollum away from the window.

"Ron it's me!" he said "What are you doing here?" Ron immediately calmed down upon seeing his friend.

"Harry what is that thing!?" Ron asked looking at Gollum who was looking nervously at Harry. The young wizard looked to the creature and then to Ron, trying to think of the proper words to tell his friend about the last few days.

"It's complicated" Harry finally said "Ron you have to get me out of here."

"Yes you must free us!" Gollum said approaching the bars. "Get us out of this nasty cage and we will help you we will be very nicee!" Ron swallowed hard looking to Harry's "roomate"

"Don't worry Harry," Ron said "That's what we came here to do"

"Here grab this," George said handing Harry a rope and hook. "Wrap this around the bars real good and we'll have you out of here in a tick." hurriedly Harry did as he was told Fred floored the car and the bars popped quickly off.

"Alright I have to get my things but they're all locked up downstairs." Harry said

"No problem," George said from the front passenger seat "Out of the way Harry."

Fred and George climbed into Harry's room not noticing Gollum who had slinked into the shadows Using a hair pin to pick the lock that kept Harry in the room they soon had the door open. Quietly they snuck down Harry warning them about the creak in the bottom stair, soon they were on their way with Harry's trunk which they quickly stuffed into the car followed by Hedwig in her cage.

"Alright Harry," Ron said smiling widely "Lets get out of here."

"Right," Harry responded but almost as soon his face went white. "Where did Gollum go?" he asked suddenly.

"Who?" Fred and George said at the same time.

"That creature that was with me." Harry responded looking to Ron who had stayed in the car. "Did you see where he went?"

"I thought he was with you!" Ron said, Harry's heart seemed to sink into his feet. He quickly explained about how dangerous Gollum could be and sent Fred and George to look for him downstairs while he and Ron looked up stairs. Leaving the car hovering quietly by Harry's window.

"What's going on Harry?" Ron whispered while they made their way toward Uncle Vernon's room, "We came because you hadn't received a single letter. Now we find you locked up with some sort of monster?"

"I'll explain later," Harry said putting his fingers to his lips as they opened Uncle Vernon's door quietly, Harry's uncle lay snoring loudly, Harry couldn't see his Aunt Petunia but guessed that she was on the other side of his uncle's bulky belly out of view. 

"Not here." Ron mouthed as they quietly shut the door.

"Wait," Harry whispered "He's starving, so he's more than likely gone after food, but he hasn't liked anything I've tried to get him…I think that he only likes raw meat."

"Where could he find raw meat here?" Ron asked. Harry's face suddenly went white as Nearly Headless Nick. 

"Dudley!" Harry gasped running toward his cousins door. They threw the door open just in time as they saw Gollum standing over a sleeping Dudley, about to bring one of his unused baseball bats down on to the fat boy's head.

"Gollum!" Harry, yelled the creature dropped the bat screaming as Dudley also woke up and began shrieking at the top of his lungs.

"FATHER! HELP! FAATHEERRRRR!" the boy screamed.

"WHAT THE…!" they heard Uncle Vernon yell snapping awake. Harry and Ron looked at each other terrified and began to run toward Harry's room, with Gollum on their tails.

"Get away from us!" Ron yelled looking back to the creature, it was just then that Uncle Vernon burst out of his room.

"PETUNIA!" Uncle Vernon hollered his face a bright red "THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!"

Harry and Ron barreled into Harry's room, looking to the car, Fred and George were already inside. 

"RON! HARRY!" they yelled "JUMP IN! COME ON!" Harry and Ron dove into the car landing hard in the seats, Harry spun to see Gollum leap straight toward them, falling just short as Uncle Vernon caught his ankle.

"Help us!" Gollum shrieked holding on the edge of the car with all his might as Harry's uncle pulled on his legs.

"No!" Ron yelled "Fred DRIVE!" Ron's brother floored the gas and the car shot away from the house causing Uncle Vernon to lose his grip and fall out the window, Gollum hung screaming his head off sounding much like a siren.

"Save us!" he shrieked "We swears to do anything you says!" Harry reached down and pulled the creature up to safety, slamming the door shut. Gollum turned around and held up his first two fingers backward, giving Uncle Vernon the "fork". He then looked down at the ground which was rapidly shrinking as the ascended higher into the air to get behind a cloud. The creature screamed and fell off his seat landing right by Harry's feet.

"Alright Harry," Ron said "What is that thing!" Harry looked to Gollum who was hugging his leg. It was going to be a long trip.

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"I think Malfoy must behind it." Ron said as he and Harry began to eat their breakfast, They had arrived at the Burrow the previous morning to the angry face of Ron's mother, furious that they had taken the car and terrified at the unexpected "guest" that Gollum was. At first they had tried to get the creature to leave but he claimed that Harry he had to serve the "master" who in this case was Harry. Begrudgingly Mrs. Weasley allowed Gollum to sleep in the attic with the ghoul they had. Harry told Ron everything that had happened during the summer, about Gollum's appearance and the disasters it had led to.

"Do you think he's this "Dobby" person that Gollum is always talking about?" asked Harry stuffing a piece of sausage into his mouth.

"Dobby sounds like a house-elf's or something like that." Ron said with his mouth full, "I don't see why Draco would have a servant call him that."

"Maybe if he didn't want us to know," Harry said "Maybe he told Gollum to call him that so I couldn't blame him." Just then Ron's mom came in holding what looked like the remains of several small birds.

"Do you see these!" Mrs. Weasley growled "There are three more at the birdbath! If that creature is going to live for the rest of the summer, you had better keep a better eye on him!" her voice immediately softened as she turned to Harry "Of course I don't blame you Harry dear, you can't help it if things like this happen to you, but if you could try to have a word with him."

"I'll see what I can do." Harry said.

"Thankyou dear." she smiled then turned and headed up the stairs her voice changing "Fred! George! We are leaving for Diagon Alley in an hour! Your room had better be clean!"

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"We needs to leave!" Gollum said angrily "We must find the Precious! The Baggins has it we knows it and we wants it!"

"But we promised to serve the Master!" Smeagol whined "He gives us food and nice birdses to eat. We promised Dobby to make the boy not go to nasty school!"

"Dobby, Dobby, Dobby!" Gollum hissed "We doesn't need to listen to Dobby, we hates Dobby! We hates the boy, and We hates the Baggins!"

"But Master is powerful!" Smeagol replied trying to get on Gollum's good side "Master could help us find the Precious!" Gollum suddenly stopped as he heard footsteps approaching him. The creature slunk even further into the shadows of the attic. 

"What does it say my precious?" Gollum asked

"Master has powers." the other personality said "Smeagol knows 'cause Dobby says so, Master can help us find the Precious, and find the thief Bagginsss."

"Yes precious." Gollum smirked "We can use Master's powerses to find the Precious and once we do. We will take it and eat the stupid red haired boy."  
"Yess!!" Smeagol cackled it was just then that the attic door opened and Harry came up followed by Ron.

"Gollum!?" Harry called, swearing that he heard the creature shush himself as he saw it immerge from the shadows. 

"Yes, Master what is it?" he said "How can good Smeagol help you?"

"Don't call me Master," Harry said then continued "We're going to go buy things for school, you'll have to come with us."

"Oh yes," Gollum said with a wide grin while groveling at Harry's feet "Smeagol, will do what ever master says, if Master wants Smeagol to go we goes, if Master wants us to stay here we stays and will be very nice."

"Oh no you don't!" Ron said "Your going. I'm not going to leave you hear all by yourself so you can through my things and wreck the house!" 

"Relax Ron," Harry said "I think we got him under control." The three made there way down the stairs and found Ron's family all gathered near the fireplace with a flowerpot full of floo-powder. Mrs. Weasley explained to Harry how the powder worked then turned to Gollum eyeing him crossly.

"Did you understand that?" She said looking the creature in the eyes.

"umm..yes…_Gollum…Gollum …_" he swallowed "dust will take us to a place with Master."

"Be sure to speak very clearly or you could appear anywhere." Mrs. Weasley reiterated

"Anywhere?" Gollum asked giving the woman a look that worried her.

"Yes," she repeated "anywhere," turning from the creature she addressed her other house guest "Alright, Harry in you go. Take a good handful" Harry stepped into the chimney taking a good handful of floo-powder.

"D-Dai-gon Alley," Harry chocked as a burst of green flames shot up and engulfed his body taking him to Knock-turn alley. 

"MASTER!" Gollum screamed running into the fireplace, as Harry vanished, spinning around Gollum faced the Weasleys getting upset "Where is he! Where did Master go!"

"Calm down now," Mr. Weasley said holding his hands out to calm the creature. "Just use some floo-powder and you'll go to be with him." slowly he brought the flower pot to Gollum who quickly grabbed a handful of powder. "that's it," Mr. Weasley coaxed, "now tell the fire place where you want to go and throw the powder down and you'll be with Harry.

"Yes," Gollum said getting ready to speak the stopped "Where do we wants to go?"

"Daigon Alley," Mrs. Weasley said "Remember to say it very clearly or you could end up anywhere remember. Gollum's face lighted up like Christmas light.

"Oh yes we remember!" he said "anywhere!"

"Daigon Alley!" the Weasleys shouted in unison, Gollum suddenly started to laugh wickedly then looked them all in the face.

"THE PRECIOUS!" he yelled in delight as he vanished.

"What did he say?" Mrs. Weasley asked confusedly to her husband.

"The Precious…whatever that means." he replied.

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Okay everybody, that's chapter 2! I swear next time Gollum will meet the whole gang, which raises an interesting question. Where did he go? Read next time and find out. Also I want your suggestions as to how much of Chamber of Secrets I should cover in this story, Originally I had planned on skipping to certain parts since the story is so long, but I want your ideas and suggestions as to how much I should do and also what you want to see happen. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	4. Precious Hermione

A/N: okay just like I promised I got this bad boy out. Thanks to those who read the last chapters and to those who took the time to review.

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Chapter 4

Precious Hermione

"HARRY! What d' yeh think ye're doin' down here?"

Harry's heart leapt, as he saw the immense form of Hagrid came down the street toward him and the hag that was harassing him. The Hogwarts gamekeeper came striding toward them, with his big black eyes blazing the hag quickly retreated.

"Hagrid!" Harry croaked in relief "I was lost- Floo powder-"

Hagrid took Harry by the scruff of the neck and soon they were out of the dark magic street of knock turn alley and were standing in front of the white marble of Gringotts Bank.

"Yer a mess," Hagrid said brushing Harry off nearly knocking him over. "That's bad business skulking around Knockturn alley," 

Harry explained what had happened and also what had happened during the summer. With Gollum's strange appearance and being locked away with him in his room.

"Lousy Muggles," Hagrid growled "If I had known…" he was abruptly cut off by another voice.

"Harry! Harry! Over here!"

Harry looked up to see Hermione speeding down the Gringotts stairs with her hair flying behind her.

"What happened to your glasses" she sputtered pulling out her wand and quickly repairing them and began talking a mile a minute asking them questions. Only a few moments passed by when the Weasleys came sprinting toward them.

"Harry!" Mr. Weasley panted "We'd hoped that you had only gone a grate to far…" wiping his bald patch "Molly's frantic…the creature…we don't know where he went…something about the…Precious"

"Great," Harry rolled his eyes, "Well maybe he's gone for good."

"What creature?" Hermione asked curiously 

"Gollum," Harry said

"he's a pest," Ron added

"He sounded pretty dodgy to me," Hagrid said

"He's the coolest!" Fred argued

"He tried to eat Dudely!" George interjected excitedly.

"What!?" Hermione strained confusedly "Who or what is Gollum?"

Before they could give her any more gruesome details as to who Gollum was, Mrs. Weasley came storming down the street pushing several wizards unfortunate enough to get in her way. Practically dragging and Ginny behind her as the small girl struggled to keep up with her mother's steps

"Oh Harry- Oh my dear- you could have been anywhere--" She quickly pulled out a large brush began to wipe away all the soot that Hagrid had missed "and now we've lost that no account Gollum!" she hissed

"WHO OR WHAT IS A GOLLUM!?" Hermione demanded loudly, red as Ron's hair as the whole street seemed to stop and stare at her.

"Well," Hagrid said finally trying to break the silence "I gotta get go'en, See yer at Hogwarts" striding away taller than anyone else on the packed streets.

Harry tried to explain to Hermione who Gollum was but was so caught up in the bustle as Mrs. Weasley continued to try to clean him and demanding details of her own about where Harry had been, all the while Mr. Weasley was herding them up the steps of Gringotts. The crowd and confusion was further added to as they met Hermione's parents who were waiting inside the bank soon they were streaking down the tunnels of Gringotts in a goblin driven cart, to retrieve their money from the vaults. Harry tried in vain to cover his money from the Weasleys view trying not to show them how well off he was. Hastily he shoved his coins into a leather bag and they were off again.

"So what is this Gollum thing!?" Hermione demanded once they were outside again standing outside on the steps of the bank and everyone save Harry, Ron, and her had split up.

"Well he's…" Harry began but was cut off as a very large and dangerous looking goblin with a crooked nose approached him from inside the bank.

"Harry Potter?" he asked as the children backed away slightly before the massive goblin.

"Y...yes," Harry responded

"Come with me, the manager of the bank needs to speak with you." the goblin said. Harry and his friends looked to each other as the goblin waited for them to enter the bank. Cautiously the trio began to move, Harry saw Hermione fidgeting nervously with her wand inside her pocket as the goblin began to lead them through the corridors of the bank until they were in front of a very fancy looking door on the second floor of the bank. The goblin stopped them and entered the room then returned.

"The manager will see you but, only Mr. Potter." he said. Nervously Harry walked through the door jumping slightly as it slammed behind him.

"Master!" he suddenly heard his eyes shooting to the corner where he saw Gollum chained against the wall screaming frantically.

"Do you know this thing!?" a voice demanded as Harry looked to see a small well dressed goblin sitting behind a massive desk looking quite angrily at him. "He appeared in my fireplace and immediately began to wreak havoc!"

"I…I…I…" Harry stuttered. 

"Then when I had my guards capture him he began screaming your name!" the goblin continued "are you responsible for this?"

"Please Master!" Gollum sobbed "We only wants to be free we were looking for the Precious! We swears we are not theives don't let the cruel goblins hurt us!"

Harry sighed heavily knowing he couldn't abandon Gollum to the goblins, "Yeah I know him," he groaned 

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"So this Gollum is the reason Harry didn't get our letters?" Hermione quizzed Ron as they waited for Harry.

"yes and…" Ron started but was cut off as the door opened and Harry came out with Gollum handcuffed and blindfolded behind him, Hermione gasped and grabbed Ron's arm upon seeing the creature.

"Is that him!?" she breathed

"Yes this is Gollum," Harry sighed, "Some how the floo powder took him here."

"Why is he blindfolded?" Ron asked 

"Goblins are very suspicious," Hermione stated "they probably don't want him to see any of their corridors, because he appeared here, in fact he's lucky to be in one piece." Gollum began to make a whining noise and the trio decided that they needed to get out of the bank as the goblin that had lead them there was looking rather peeved at them.

"What I don't understand," Harry said while they walked "is how he ended up here. I mean, I stuttered when I used the floo-powder but I was only a grate or two off. How did he end up in Gingotts?"

"Well he didn't even try to come to the Alley," Ron said "He blurted out 'the Precious' then threw down the floo-powder."

"Well that must be it," Hermione said as they finally exited the building "the floo-network must have tried to take him to this 'Precious' and when it couldn't it took him to Gringotts a place where 'precious' things are."

Harry kneeled in front of Gollum, "Alright Gollum listen up," he said crossly

"Yes Master, good Master helps Smeagol, yesss," the creature responded.

"Alright," Harry ordered, "We're going to release you now and once we do you will be perfectly obedient and be good, and no more trying to sneak off and eat people."

"Yesss, Master, good Smeagol will be nice, yes," Gollum responded as Harry took the key they had given him and undid Gollum's handcuffs, both the key and cuffs immediately apparated back into the bank. Harry looked to his friends as he hesitantly undid Gollum's blind fold, the creature hissed as the sun hit his eyes.

"AHHH! IT BURNS OR EYESES!" he screeched "the nasty yellow face! We cannot see!"

"The poor thing," Hermione said

"You mean drama queen." Ron sneered sarcastically, they began making their way toward the Flourish and Blotts. They crowded there way into the building, as they entered the darker room Gollum's vision began to clear looking around warily at the large crowd until his large eyes full upon someone he had never seen before.

"Who is that precious!" he suddenly began tugging on Ron's arm "Who is that precious" he continued pointing toward Ginny and Hermione who were both staring in awe at Gilderoy Lockhart signing autographs of 

"That's Ginny, Gollum" Ron said annoyed "you've seen her before,"

"Stupid Red hair boy!" Gollum hissed "not her the one next to the Master,"

"Oh that's just Hermione," Ron shrugged

"Hermione!" Gollum repeated in a sing-song voice. It was just then that Harry was pulled up front by Gilderoy to have his picture taken, Ron had to hold the creature back as he tried to rush up too. 

"It's okay," Hermione said trying to calm him down "he'll be back," Gollum had an awestruck look on his face as Hermione tried to comfort him.

"Yes Precious," he said in a way that made Hermione nervous, Harry managed to get himself away from Lockhart and tried to leave but was stopped by a familiar young despicable wizard.

"I'll bet you loved that Potter" Draco Malfoy sneered " Famous Harry Potter can't even walk into a book store without getting his picture in the front page."

Ginny was about to say something to defend Harry but stopped as Gollum leapt from behind Harry and tackled Draco and began to pummel him. Draco screamed like a little girl, Harry stood dumbfounded not knowing what to do and not terribly wanting to get between Malfoy and his beating, he could over hear the crowd saying something about Gollum looking like a 'house elf' and that they had never seen one act in that way. 

"WHAT THE DEVIL!" They heard a man say, Harry looked to see Lucius Malfoy come storming in, wand raised. Harry quickly pulled Gollum off of Draco before the wizard could cast his spell. Mr. Weasley put himself in front of Harry. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS ARTHUR!" Lucius Malfoy fumed "WHAT IS THAT THING THAT ATTACKED MY SON! IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF TRUE WIZARD BEHAVIOUR!"

"Calm down Lucius!" Mr. Weasley said his hands shaking tensely "Your son's fine Harry's…er…um…house elf is very protective of him."

"I should have that thing destroyed!" Lucius growled, "You disgrace wizard kind,"

"We have a very different idea of what disgraces wizard kind, Lucius," Mr. Weasley said coldly.

"Having creatures attack innocent boys and associating with muggles…" Malfoy said "and I thought you couldn't sink any lower."

There was a thud of metal as Ginny dropped her cauldron upon seeing her dad tackle Lucius and begin to pound him. They hit a bookshelf, books toppling on top of them, chaos erupted as Harry could hear Fred and George cheer for their dad and Mrs. Weasley shrieking, Gollum laughed evilly and began to throw books. Finally the store clerk managed to break them up and kick them all out.

They left Diagon alley very much subdued, with Mrs. Weasley so furious that even Gollum dared not make a sound. Finally they had to go their separate ways.

"Goodbye Harry! Goodbye Ron!" Hermione said as she left the Leakey Cauldron with her parents. "See you at school!"

Harry and Ron waved back to her but stop as they heard Gollum call out "Yes! Preciouss! We will see you at school. Yesss!"

Harry and Ron looked at each other

"He's not going to school with us!?" Ron gasped 

………………………………............................................................................................................................

Okay thanks for reading, I'm at the crossroads now. I want to hear your suggestions on what should happen now and especially how much of the book I should write. Any ideas will be considered. Thanks


	5. Nasty Hogwartses

A/N: Wow it's been a long time since I updated this and I just got the hankering to do so. Not too much in this chapter. Mostly transitionary stuff. But I'll try to get the next part out and I promise it will be cool as we will introduce Gollum to things like Potions class, Defense against the dark arts and Peeves. Also I was thinking about maybe putting some cameos of other LotR characters. I would love to hear any suggestions of who it should be.

Chapter 5

Nasty Hogwartses

"Ronald Weasley!" Mrs. Weasley screeched "What on earth are you doing up at this hour!"

Ron looked nervously at his mother, he was showing Harry pictures of his favorite quittich players, "Harry couldn't sleep Mum." Ron sputtered "The ghoul in the attic keeps on waking him up he's not used to having one."

"Oh I'm sorry Harry dear," Mrs. Weasley softened looking to Harry, "I honestly don't know why Arthur keeps that thing there. All he ever does is clank his chains around, but you must try to get some sleep, tomorrow you'll be going to school and it will be a big day so please try to get some rest."

Harry and Ron watched Mrs. Weasley as she left toward the door and turned out the lights they waited until they heard her shut her bedroom door, then Ron lit the tip of his wand with a pale light so him and Harry could continue to have their conversation.

"I'm sorry Harry but it doesn't make sense," Ron whispered "Gollum attacked Draco to defend you! I can't imagine Gollum being his servant."

"Draco wanted to create a diversion." Harry said "Doesn't it seem convenient that Mr. Malfoy walked in at that very moment. Who knows what they were trying to do!"

"I just can't see them going that far." Ron said "Maybe Gollum really does think you're his master."

"I hope not," Harry replied looking to the ceiling as they could hear the ghoul clang its chains once again.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

The ghoul cowered in the corner holding its chains tightly against itself, it hadn't had a moment of rest since the Weasleys had put their "guest" in the attic. More than once the creature had attacked the poor ghoul trying to choke it, all the while rambling to itself. This night had been particularly hard.

"What's it saying Precious," Gollum said "Smeagol doesn't wants the Precious?"

"Ye..No!" Smeagol replied nervously "We wants the Precious yess, but Master will help us find it." then Smeagol sighed happily "…and human girl was so pretty and nice,"

"Yess," Gollum admitted "but the Precious is more prettier and more nicer, we must get the Master to find it for uss. We needs it! Remember what we did with it? We can follow nice girl, my Precious my love. We can follow pretty girl everywhere she goes, and bring her juicy fishes to eat."

"YESSSS!" Smeagol howled in delight, frightening the ghoul who dropped its chains again. "Once Master goes to school he will find it for us and then Hermione will be mine, my own, my second precious!"

Gollum rolled his eyes "You can have nice girl we'll have the Precious so nice and shiny,"

"Yess, yes, we knows." Smeagol replied "The Precious will be mine also" Gollum was about to scold his other self for not including him, but was interrupted as another voice came in the room.

"Smeagol has broke his promise." the voice came

"Dobby!" Smeagol smiled

"Dobby." Gollum hissed as the house elf suddenly appeared before him.

"Harry Potter is still going to Hogwarts," Dobby said angrily "Smeagol promised Dobby to make Harry Potter not go back school."

"We are sorry," Smeagol whined, "We tries but nasty fat man took us and put us in nasty room with Master and then stupid red head boy comes and saves Master and he rescues us. Then we goes to evil bank with nasty goblins who chain us up and try to hurt us! Then we sees"

"Terrible things will happen if Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts this year." Dobby said "Smeagol cannot allow Harry Potter to go back."

"Terrible things?" Gollum asked suddenly taking over. "What will happen Precious? Will it be something sneaky? Something wicked? What will happen Precious?"

"Dobby's master has made it that…" Dobby paused then shrieked and started banging his head against a wooden beam. Causing the ghoul to retreat even further into the corner. Terrified at such odd behavior, finally the house elf was done torturing himself "Dobby cannot say, but Dobby will not allow Harry Potter to get on the train tomorrow. Dobby wants his friend Smeagol to try to stop Harry Potter too. Harry Potter will die if he goes back to Hogwarts."

"Yess." Gollum said his face curling up in a wicked smile, "oh we will help do not worry we will help verry much Precious!"

"Thank you Smeagol," Dobby said giving Gollum a hug then with a snap of his fingers he diapparated with a loud crack.

"Piss off" Gollum hissed.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

"…and almost destroyed a whomping willow that was planted on the grounds since before you were born!" Snape snapped at Harry and Ron. "If it were up to me you would both be expelled! And this _thing_!" he continued looking at Gollum who was cowering behind Harry. "I don't know what your thinking bringing it here to this school but you obviously show even more disregard for the rules. You know you are not allowed to bring servants to Hogwarts."

"Calm down Severus," Dumbledore's soft voice came from the doorway "We recognize that these boys have broken rules and as such they will be dealt with by Professor McGonagall," the witch approached the pair.

"I must impress on you two the seriousness of what you've just done…I" She began but stopped short seeing Gollum hiding behind Harry's robes "Good heavens what is that!" Dumbledore stepped up and peered at the creature through is half moon glasses.

"Oh!" Gollum shrieked upon meeting Dumbledore's gaze and throwing himself upon his knees in front of the Head Master of the school "nasty trixy wizard! We swears we will not hurt the Bagginses! We begs you not to hurt poor Smeagol!" Ron rolled his eyes and Dumbledore raised his bushy eyebrows.

"Harry," He finally said "I think that you better explain all of this"

Harry lowered his head not being able to even make eye-contact sensing the disappointment in Dumbledore's voice. He explained about how Gollum had come and about the flying car, trying not to mention that it belonged to Mr. Weasley. Dumbledore didn't press any further he just merely continued to gaze at Harry and Ron through his spectacles.

"We'll go get our stuff." Ron said hopelessly Gollum seemed to get excited about leaving the school.

"What are you talking about, Mr. Weasley?" Professor McGonagall barked

"You're expelling us aren't you?" Ron replied

"Not today, Mr. Weasley," She said "but you will both be given detention and I will write letters to both your families tonight. Now we must get back to the feast you will both stay here and then go to your dormitories."

"But what of the creature?" Snape bellowed as McGonagall and Dumbledore turned to leave "Surely you can't expect them to not be punished for such serious acts and bringing this thing into the school!?"

"It will be for Professor McGonagall to decide their punishment and as far as the creature…" Dumbledore said again peering at Gollum "I will begin to inquire about it from my sources, in the meantime it appears to be attached to Harry so I feel that he should shoulder the responsibility for it. It will stay with Harry."

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!" Harry, Ron, and Snape all said at the same time, then paused and looked at each other curiously. "IT CAN'T…" again they had all spoken in unison again they looked at each other

"…STAY WITH ME!" Harry finished while hearing Snape, and Ron finish the exact same sentence with "Potter," and "Harry"

"I am not kidding," Dumbledore said "I do not see any immediate threat and to send it away would be cruel. I trust that Harry will keep a close eye on it. Come Severus we must return to the feast." with that the old wizard left the room.

Snape shot a look of pure venom at them as he left and Gollum hissed at him from behind Harry's legs.

………………………………............................................................................................................................

They made their way through the castle and soon found them standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady which was the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.

"Password," she said both Harry and Ron looked at each other they had missed the opening ceremony and didn't know the new password.

"We weren't there…"Ron tried but was cut short as the portrait interrupted

"I'm sorry that's not correct." She said.

"Look we need to get inside…" Harry tried again being interrupted by the painting

"That is not correct either, please leave," she said

"You leave you stupid woman with your fat stupid face." Gollum yelled " Go saw it off, if we doesn't get in we will bite your fat nose off your fat face now open!"

The painting looked like she was on the verge of tears yet she stood fast "T…That's not correct" she sniffled.

Gollum screamed and was about to lunge at the painting when luckily he was cut short by a familiar voice.

"There you two are!" Hermione said rushing up to them "Were have you been!? The most ridiculous rumors are flying around and… you didn't bring _him_ here with you did you?" she blurted upon seeing Gollum who still had his fist raised threateningly at the Fat Lady.

"Yes Precious we came!" Gollum said smiling widely at Hermione, too enamored to even notice the way she had spoken about him.

"…Oh…" she replied studying the creature in front of her before finally turning to look at her friends. "Why weren't you two on the train?" she asked while eyeing Gollum suspiciously. "Everyone is talking about it."

Ron groaned and Harry sighed, "It's a long story…lets just get to the common room and then we will tell you what happened."

Hermione gave the password, and Gollum shrieked when the doorway behind the Fat Lady opened, the three children were shocked upon seeing the entire common room awaiting them, with cheers and congratulations on their method of arrival. There was such an uproar that anybody who noticed Gollum immediately passed him off as a house elf and continued with there celebrations. Both Ron and Harry looked at each other gleefully while Hermione had turned a dark shade of red with anger at such blatant praise of rule breaking. The only thing that caused her to come out of incenced musings, was the tug and feel of Gollum sniffing her robes…It was going to be a long year.


	6. Day One

****

A/N: Sorry it took so long to update this. I had a really hard time thinking of what I wanted to have happen and how closley to the book I wanted to follow. Not to mention the fact that I moved and had my computer go on the fritz. But I think I got things worked out and will try to update more frequently. So enjoy the story. As always I beg and plead for suggestions and also want to know if you would like me to put any other LOTR characters in the story. More cameo parts than anything and as always thanks for reading and reviewing.

Chapter 6

Day One

The first day of a very long second year of Hogwarts did much to take away from the excitement that Harry and Ron had felt upon entering the Gryffindor tower amidst the cheers of their classmates. In addition to not having Hermione helping them or even really speaking to them as she was still flustered over their disregard for the rules not to mention bringing a psychotic schizophrenic house elf…thing, to school with them. They soon found other troubles.

As hard as Harry tried he could not get Gollum to stay in the dormitories and soon the creature was creeping along side the boy-who-lived in the halls, eliciting mutters and stares from other students. The night before he had been able to avoid questions due to the party in the common room. The queries soon became unavoidable and Harry soon found himself bombarded with questions about the strange "house elf".

Harry could not decide who was redder in the face by the end of breakfast Ron or himself! Ron had received a howler in the middle of their meal, causing several Syltherins to snigger at him and generally causing a ruckus amongst the other students. Unfortunately for Harry, Gollum seemed determined that he would humiliate Harry even further than Ron's howler.

The moment Dumbledore made the food appear on the table the creature pounced upon it and began devouring everything he could get his withered hands on in a very Dudley like fashion. Pavarati and Lavander both looked ill and had to excuse themselves from the table and walked away quickly holding their hands over their mouths. Gollum even went so far as to sip Dean Thomas' Pumpkin Juice and then promptly spat it in Neville Longbottom's face as the creature called it 'nasty sweetness'.

All this happened much to the delight of the Slytherins, with Malfoy leading the way in mocking Harry and his friends. To make things go from bad to worse Gollum had fallen as if dead in the middle of the table when he received the blinding flash of white light in his eyes from young Colvin Creevey's camera. After being revived the creature had moaned to Hermione about some 'evil, cruel' wizard that was hunting him. The humiliation finally culminated when Gollum who had already stuffed himself, attacked the mail owls even breaking Pansy Parkinson's owls neck, and causing Malfoy to sick Crabbe and Goyle on him. The two would have pummeled the poor creature if he had not leapt out of their reach…directly on to the staff table!

By the time the whole mess had been sorted out ten points had been taken from Gryffindor and Mr. Filch was covered from head to toe in pudding. Only Dumbledore's intervention prevented the caretaker from stringing Gollum up by his toes.

The three friends marched glumly to their first class, herbology, with Gollum trudging behind them pleading for forgiveness. The only one of the group that seemed to be in somewhat good spirits was Hermione who seemed much friendlier toward her friends as she felt that the morning's embarrassments had thoroughly chastened them. When they finally reached Professor Sprout's greenhouse, Gilderoy Lockhart took Harry aside to talk to him about "not abusing his fame", Gollum was left aside with Hermione who tentively took the creature's hand so that Harry could receive his "advice" in private.

Professor Sprout took Harry aside the moment he entered the classroom and made him swear that he would control Gollum. Harry for his part nodded and could only roll his eyes when Gollum had leapt happily when he returned.

"Master!" he cried, "We have been nice while you were gone, yeeeesss, very nice Preciousss!"

Harry could only roll his eyes as Malfoy mocked him across the table, "Oh Master!" he almost sung, while he mimicked Gollum's voice "we love our Master!"  
"Piss off!" Gollum hissed, causing several gasps from nearby students especially when Gollum made an offensive gesture toward the rich Slytherin youth. However before anyone could react one way or another Professor Sprout took everyone's attention by beginning her lesson, the teacher was soon talking about mandrakes, and asked if anyone would be able to give a suitable definition of the plant.

With a raised hand, and a head nod from Sprout, Hermione launched into a verbatim definition of mandrake as if she had been reading from a textbook. When she finished Gollum was at her side, beaming brightly up at her with his disturbing smile.

"You are smart Precious...yes," he cooed.

"What's this?" Malfoy smirked at the witch while Professor Sprout continued with her lecture. "Got yourself a boyfriend Granger?"

Gollum looked as if he was about to pounce across the table but luckily for him, the creature was pulled away to Harry's side as Professor Sprout began explaining about the need for ear protection and what they were going to do with the mandrakes. As the instructor finished all the students fastened their earmuffs over their ears. Harry had quite the time forcing Gollum to wear his and finally had to clamp them over the creature's head with both hands. An act which earned him much derision from Malfoy and his cronies. Without warning Professor Sprout then ripped a mandrake from it's pot. Even though they were all protected by earmuffs the cry that the plant shrieked caused all the students to wince and even Gollum finally understood the purpose of the earmuffs clasping his hands tightly over them and wailing himself. Neville fainted causing momentary alarm with Professor Sprout. Thankfully the shrill cry was silenced as the Professor repotted the plant, and then instructed the students to do the same. Almost instantly the room was rent with the cries of several mandrakes and Harry found himself looking to the greenhouse windows wondering if they would shatter. The young wizard pulled his eyes away just in time to see Malfoy get bitten stupidly by his own mandrake when he daftly stuck his finger in it's mouth. Then to Harry's horrible realization he noticed that Gollum had disappeared.

"Harry!" came Ron's barely audible voice. Harry looked to where his friend was pointing to see in a mixture of shock, horror, and excitement, two spindly pale hands creeping up behind Malfoy's head. The trio of friends all gasped in another mixture of emotions as Malfoy's earmuffs were suddenly ripped from his head and the young wizard collapsed, unconscious from hearing the cry of the few mandrakes that had been potted yet. Fearing that this would get him in trouble, Harry looked around trying to see in Professor Sprout had witnessed this, to his great relief the Professor was busy dragging Neville away from the table so Seamus Finnigan could get closer to his pot.

"Oi, Harry," Ron said getting his friends attention. "I think I might like Gollum after all."

The rest of the day went on without further incident. Harry was finally able to get Gollum to stay in the Gryffindor tower. Though it was more due to the fact that the creature didn't want to go down to Snape's dungeon than anything else. Which suited Harry just fine. Though he didn't like the idea of leaving Gollum in the dormitories alone he was too relieved to be momentarily free from the burden to really care.

Harry was not so lucky for his next class. Gollum had made a terrible mess in the common room and Hermione insisted that they bring him along to their DADA class so he couldn't do anymore damage.

"Please," Harry cried looking to Gollum as they walked, "Try to behave! I can't get into anymore trouble. Just try to sit quietly and don't do anything unless I tell you to." Harry could feel a vein in his head pulsating and quietly mused that this was what Uncle Vernon felt like twenty-four hours a day.

Gilderoy Lockhart's class was dismal. They spent the entire first part of class taking a quiz about the teacher all the while he smiled stupidly causing all the girls in the class to sigh anytime they looked up from their quizzes. Even Hermione was not free from this spell and she to would gaze at their teacher dreamily, which caused both Ron and Gollum to scowl angrily.

Professor Lockhart almost seemed crestfallen by the results of the quiz. Chiding the students for not knowing stupid oddities about himself. Though he took special care to complement Hermione for getting correct answers. Harry had to put his hand on Gollum's shoulder and scowl at him to make the creature stay in his spot.

Then almost as if someone had hit a switch Lockhart's attitude changed from attention seeking, stupid git to business-like stupid git.

"Now ---be warned!" He said as he bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it. "It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

Lockhart now had the entire classes attention. Even Harry and Gollum were staring at him in rapt interest while Neville was cowering in his front row seat.

"I must ask you not to scream," said Lockhart in a low voice. "It might provoke them."

As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover. There was a gasp and a small shriek from Neville, then only the sound of children holding back their laughter. Seamus Finnigan seemed to be having the hardest time at it.

"Cornish Pixies?" He choked.

"_Freshly caught Cornish Pixies_!" Lockhart clarified idiotically.

"Well, they're not---they're not very---_dangerous_, are they?" The young wizard chortled.

"Don't be so sure!" Lockhart defended with a smile on his face as if he knew something that no one else did. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be."

Harry noticed that Gollum seemed to be transfixed by the small electric blue creatures and was again talking to himself.

"What are they Precious?" He asked, "are they tasty? Are they nice? Are they crunchable _gollem, gollem_!"

"Right, then," Lockhart boomed enthusiastically, "Let's see what you make of them!" and with that he opened the cage.

If chaos could be a personified object it would have been that room. The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Pulling hair dumping over ink jars, ripping papers, breaking anything that they could get their hands upon. Even pulling Neville by the ears until he was hanging from a chandelier. All the while Gollum leapt laughing nastily, caught up in the pandemonium.

"Come on now--round them up, round them up, they're only pixies," Lockhart shouted.

"Grab them! Smash them! Eat them!" Gollum sung cheered trying to catch a pixie in his hands.

In the midst of the chaos Lockhart finally decided that his students had suffered enough and after rolling up his sleeves he loudly bellowed, "_Peskipiksi Pesternomi_!"

The only effect that the spell had was to make Lockhart the Pixies primary target and soon they had ripped his wand away from him and tossed it out a broken window. Lockhart dived under his desk to avoid being squashed by Neville who was coming crashing down with the iron chandelier.

Miraculously the bell rang and the students practically trampled each other to exit the room. Lockhart straightened up and spotted Harry, Ron, Hermione and Gollum who were almost at the door and said, "Well, I'll ask you three to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." he then swept past them and quickly slammed the door.

"Can you believe him?" Ron roared while trying to fend of on of the remaining pixies that hadn't flown out of the window.

"He just wants to give us some hands-on experience," Hermione defended using a freezing charm to immobilize two of the pixies.

"_Hands on_?" said Harry as he tried to grab another pixie, "Hermione he didn't have a clue what he was doing--"

"Rubbish," said Hermione. "You've read his books---look at all those amazing things he's done---"

"He _says_ he's done," Ron muttered.

Finally they had stopped what pixies had remained in the cage and then realized that Gollum had gone missing. To their relief and disgust they found him underneath a desk, chomping on the remains of a few of the pixies.

"They _are_ nice precious!" he beamed as he savagely ripped into one, "they _are_ juicy and sweet!"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Hermione said, Harry could only roll his eyes after all it was the only thing he could have suspected that Gollum would have done. Things were shaping up to be a hard year.


	7. The Slugs and the Bug

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A/N: Again I apologize for the time it takes me to update this story. This is the one I have the hardest time with I swear I'm not as bad with any of my other stories...well except for one. But I hope that you like this chapter.

Chapter 7

The Slugs and the Bug.

Harry spent the next few days avoiding Gilderoy Lockhart whenever possible, even dodging out of view when it came down to it. This however proved to be impossible with young Colin Creevey who delighted to take pictures of Harry at the most inopportune of moments. Even more difficult to shake was Gollum. The creature followed Harry everywhere the only times that the boy could find reprieve was when he would go outside with Ron and Hermione as Gollum shunned the "yellow face" at all costs whatever devotion he felt toward The-boy-who-lived ended where the sunlight began. Subsequently Harry was spending a great deal of time outside.

What concerned him even more was about the only dark time that Harry was "Gollumless" was at night. When the creature would disappear the moment that it thought Harry to be asleep. To where it went made the young wizard shudder. Though he had a nagging suspicion at least once where he had gotten off to as Hermione had awoken one morning with a freshly caught fish at her bedside. She didn't speak to Harry once that entire day.

With all this trauma occurring Harry relished the thought of the weekend when he could spend almost the entire day outside. Away from Gilderoy, Creevey, and Gollum, or the "Terrible Trio" as Ron called them. He had made plans with his best friend and Hermione to visit Hagrid and then spend sometime by the lake.

This plan was terribly interrupted when he was awoken before the crack of dawn by Oliver Wood. Harry's Quidditch team captain was hell-bent on practicing and drilling the team before any of the other teams could. Harry quickly glance to the side of his bed and saw that Gollum had disappeared again. The young wizard pulled on his robes as rapidly as possible. Hoping that if he could get out the Quidditch pitch before Gollum returned he could avoid seeing him in the entire day. The thought of not having a schizophrenic shadow for a day was enough for Harry to almost forget to leave a note for Ron and Hermione so they wouldn't worry about him. Once he left his room however he ran into a different but almost as annoying shadow.

"I heard someone saying your name on the stairs, Harry!" Colin Creevey blurted loudly, "Look what I've got here! I've had it developed, I wanted to show you-"

The young first year revealed a moving picture of Lockhart, Harry, and Gollum. Though only the arms of the latter pair could be seen. Lockhart was tugging intensely on Harry to pull him into the picture. Gollum's hands were trying to make their way to Lockhart's neck while at the same time trying to avoid being in the camera. Finally Lockhart gave up and slumped, panting against the white edge of the picture only to suddenly be pulled out of view by thin wiry hands.

Despite the amusement that he had at looking at the picture, Harry refused to sign it and hurried out to the Quidditch pitch with Colin following him shooting out a new question to Harry with every step that they took. Questions about Quidditch, about Gollum and Hogwarts. Harry began to explain to the first year the basics of his favorite sport, if only it did nothing but get him to shut up for a bit.

The-boy-who-lived was only able to lose his talkative shadow when he entered the Quidditch dressing rooms. Where he had to endure the mind-numbingly boring rantings of Oliver Wood, who had a peculiar gleam in his eyes every time he mentioned the words "Quidditch Cup". All the while Harry could only fantasize about having breakfast with his two friends and began to think about the many different things that could be eating at that very moment. Even one of Gollum's freshly caught fish sounded good at the moment. Fred and George looked every bit as bored as he, one of them even slumping his head on to Alicia's shoulder, only to be slapped away.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Wood finished his speeches, having exhausted every single play on his chalk board. He had the team break to enter the Quidditch Pitch. Each Gryffindor having to momentarily shield his or her eyes from the now brilliant sun. As Harry made his way to the field he could see both Ron and Hermione in the stands feasting upon toast and marmalade. Ron called out to ask if Harry was finished but looked dismayed when Harry told them that they hadn't even started.

Before Harry could take off on his broom Wood pulled him aside.

"One more thing, Potter." he said, "That house-elf that's been following you everywhere. Can we trust him? He has an ill favored look about him. He could be a Slytherin spy."

Harry would have laughed if he didn't understand where the team captain was coming from. But Gollum's hatred for Malfoy was obvious, so Harry reassured Wood that there was nothing to fear and promptly took off on his broomstick. Relishing the wind blowing through his hair.

Harry scanned the near empty stadium, spotting Colin furiously snapping pictures at him, and Ron and Hermione waving as he passed. Yet what worried him was there was still no sign of Gollum. The creature had never taken so much time in locating Harry in the morning. Although Harry didn't really mind not having him there, the lack of his presence was still...disconcerting.

Wood flew next to him and began to ask with even more paranoia if Colin was a spy too. Harry could just roll his eyes, answer no and ascend even higher to avoid more questions, not wanting to get anything in the way of his favorite past time. It was then that Harry noticed, along with his teammates, several green robed figures entering the field, each appearing more bulkier, brutish and trollish than the next. By the time Harry had landed, Wood was already demanding to know what was going on.

"Flint!" the Gryffindor Captain demanded. "This is our practice time! We got up specially! You can clear off now!"

Flint merely responded in a smug manner. Appearing like a troll that had figured out a riddle after spending a whole night of pondering.

"But I booked the field!" Wood spitted, "I booked it!"

"Ah," said Flint, "But I got a specially signed note here from Professor Snape."

The Gryffindor's read the note that gave the Slytherin team the Quidditch field, in order to train their new Seeker. Upon asking who it was, Wood and the rest of the team was greeted with the leering face of Draco Malfoy, and the new _Nimbus Two Thousand and One's_ that Draco's father had donated to the team. The Griffyndor's were aghast and Draco's smirk looked like it would consume his very ears.

"What's happening?" Ron suddenly asked, him and Hermione having coming over to see what the commotion was all about. "Why aren't you playing? And what's _he_ doing here?"

"I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley," Malfoy smirked. "Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team." encouraged by Ron's opened mouth gap the sinister Slytherin continued. " Good aren't they? But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives; I expect a museum would bid for them."

"Well at least no one on the Gryffindor team had to _buy_ their way in," Hermione said, wiping the smirk off of Malfoy's face, "_They_ got in on pure talent."

"No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood," he spat.

Harry didn't know what Malfoy had said but it's effect was obvious, chaos erupted as Wood had to stop Fred and George from pouncing on the smug wizard, Alicia was shrieking "How dare you!" and Ron whipped out his wand,

"You'll pay for that one Malfoy" he hollered firing the wand only to fall to the ground as the spell reverberated back onto himself. Even as Hermione squealed after her fallen friend and the Slytherin team was paralyzed with laughter when Ron coughed up a large slug, Harry could feel himself clutching his wand more than a few curses he had learned the previous year buzzing in his head. It was then that the air was rent with another sound. A horrible wail that made everyone turn and look, except for Ron who was coughing up another slug.

"_PRECIOUS_!" it came, Harry threw his hand over his face not wanting to watch as he knew who the voice came from.

Gollum suddenly crashed out of the equipment room, one of his large feet caught in a bucket, chasing nothing less than the golden Snitch. "Come back Precious!" he hollered "Why doesn't it wants to be with us Precious? Why?"

The Slytherin's were laughing even harder now as they all knew who the creature belonged to. Malfoy who had been on all fours pounding the ground with his fists when Ron had his accident, was now leaning on his broomstick and looking as if he was going to fall over yet again. That is he was, until the snitch veered straight toward him...as did Gollum. Malfoy's eyes widened about to the size of quaffles, holding his hands and broomstick in front of him as Gollum pounced at his direction.

WHAM! CRASH! SNAP! Went the pair, rolling a couple of feet as the snitch flittered upward toward the sun. Ron belched up another slug. And the two teams gathered around the heap of arms and legs that was now Gollum and Malfoy.

Had Ron not been spitting slugs, Harry might have laughed. Somehow the bucket that was on Gollum's foot had been wedged onto Malfoy's head, the young wizard screaming for help. Gollum was crying out for his "Precious", jumping in the air, completely oblivious that he was standing on top of the spoiled wizard, and Malfoy's _Nimbus two thousand and one_ was now a pile of splinters. Hermione took this distraction to help Ron to his feet, calling for Harry to help. Gollum then only had time to scream and run as Crabbe and Goyle began swinging at him and firing spells at his direction. The creature was only saved by his nimble dodges, and by throwing a stone directly at the pair, which they managed to dodge but, a second hit it's intended target.

Lucky for Malfoy the bucket was still lodged onto his head, and the rock did little more than make an audible clang on the metal, but prompting another scream from the terrified boy. Harry could only watch Gollum disappear toward the school, being chased by Malfoy's goons, and seeing Flint trying to pry the bucket from Malfoy's head. Ron belched a slug and Hermione gave him a serious look, directing them toward Hagrid's cabin.

"Why doesn't it shut up Smeagol?" Gollum growled.

"We are scared Precious!" the other personality defended.

The creature began to wail slightly as it thought of Malfoy's gang that had chased him to the castle. In desperation Gollum had dove into a bathroom and hid in a stall, the ruse seemed to have worked because the pair didn't follow him. Now he was alone to have a conversation.

"Cruel wizards wants to hurts us. Mean wizards wants to hurt the Precious!"

"What?"

"The Precious! Mean blonde wizard hates it, calls it names."

"The Precious?"

"Yes the Precious!"

"Calls the Precious names!?"

"We hears it before we found the Precious! It calls pretty Precious cruel name that we doesn't know, makes it cry."

"The girl!?"

"Yes, Precious Hermione!"

Gollum rolled his eyes at himself. "Why, my love?" he sighed. "Why is you so stupid! Can hairy girl be as good as the Precious? Can stupid girl help us catch fish? Or sneak us about and make us invisible?"

"Yes."

Gollum slapped his head at this answer.

"You doesn't understand." he said, "the red head boy, Master, and hairy headed girl are just like the hobbitses and the nasty wizards and elveses. They will lie to us, hurt us, and then they will take the Precious away from us when we find it."

"Not if she doesn't wants to be taken away Precious."

"NOT THAT PRECIOUS, MY PRECIOUS, _THE_ PRECIOUS!"

"Oh," Smeagol responded, "not Hermione, not Master. They are our friends. Red headed boy doesn't likes us but we doesn't likes him."

"They will hurt us and kill us." Gollum argued. "Remember our friend Deagol? He tried to hurt us, he tried to take the Precious from us. Remember my love, our birthday present? We can't let them do that."

Smeagol seemed to be taken by this argument as a memory of the murder of his friend played back and he remembered putting the Ring on for the first time. "We needs it!" he suddenly growled sounding like Gollum. "We needs to make the wizards find the hobbitses. It's ours and we needs to take it!"

"Yesss, Precious! And we will, and we will kill anyone who tries to stop us. We have already spoken to _him_, in the dark forest with the nasty trees. He will help us. He will make the wizards tell us where the Baggins is and if they don't...they won't leave. Then we will have the Precious!"

"Both Preciousess!"

"Yes! The Precious and precious Hermione will be ours!"

It was then that Gollum realized that he was not alone in the bathroom, giggly voices erupted around him and the stall door was flung open to reveal a troop of girls, having heard his whole conversation.

"Isn't that cute." one of them cooed, sinisterly "He fancies Hermione Granger."

"We know just what to do with him, don't we Pavarati?" said one.

"Sure do Lavander." the other responded.

Gollum shrieked and dove to run away, but was literally stopped in his tracks when he heard one of them call out "_Imobulous!"_ the former hobbit could only scream inwardly as the shadows of the girls loomed over him ominously.

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Next time: What is to become of Gollum now that he is in the clutches of the evil girlses of Hogwarts? That question and more answered in the next update.


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